Do you ever have a moment when people tell you a story and you're only thought is "wow that's so inappropriate?" Well, today I had one of those moments. We admitted a patient from the ER yesterday. He has pancreatitis. Yesterday, he was swearing up a storm and I kind of thought it was funny. Today, he was obviously feeling much better. He asked if I wanted to hear some stories and he looped in some kind of hook because I thought, sure why the hell not. First he tells me about how he had an Indian doctor and he asked her if she ever scalped white people. She kicked him out of her practice. Then he tells me about one time a girl was taking his blood, and when she bent over her boob went into his hand. What did he do? He grabbed it! He tells me "She wasn't even wearing a bra." I then proceeded to tell him that story time was over. When I told my attending all this he was not amused. And he apologized for making me go in there. The patient didn't harass me so I don't really care. I will know tomorrow though, that I will definitely not let him start telling me any stories.
What inappropriate stories have you heard lately?