Monday, February 1, 2010

Can I Close My Legs?

Well I delivered another teenager's baby. I feel like these deliveries are always the most entertaining for me. I broke her water and then she asked how long her legs would have to be open for the delivery. Her mom told her for as long as it took her to push the baby out. I would love to tell you I'm joking but seriously the girl was shocked that she had to push the baby out. It was like she just found out the stork doesn't magically drop the baby off. Fast forward to delivery: once the baby's head was out and she could see she just kept saying "eww eww eww." I could tell she did not want us to put the baby on her chest, but tough luck little girl, that's how we roll since the baby is still connected to you via the umbilical cord. So now she's totally grossed out that her gross baby is on her chest. She looks up at me and says "Can I close my legs now?" Umm, no, the baby is still attached and your placenta is inside. I always offer the new mommies the option to see their placentas. As I'm delivering her placenta I say "I imagine that you do not want to see your placenta." Her eyes got all big as she shouted "NO," then covered her entire face with her hands so that she would not see anything. I got her all cleaned up and finally she was able to close her legs. I hope she can continue down the "closed legs" path.

7 comments:

  1. Oh...my...goodness. For real?

    I never tire of your stories. :)

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  2. 100% for real. I wish this was a joke. Sometimes I'm just chuckling inside the entire time, but mostly I'm just worried about getting the baby all safe. When I walk out I start to giggle.

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  3. Hahaha...I almost peed my pants reading this one. What do they think is going to happen?! Seriously, how do you not know how babies are born? Teenagers are morons.

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  4. Oh my goodness that is hilarous... yet sad all at the same time.

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  5. Best Post Ever!!!! I pray she can keep her legs closed.

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